If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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