I looked at my own cervix.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
