The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
