P.S. I can't hear my feet
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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