The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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