Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm both gender and math confused
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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