id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
