I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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