did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
