Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize