I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
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Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
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He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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