Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
