I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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