Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
