i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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