The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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