My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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