so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
