i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize