through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
