How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
