and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
