I wanna passion pit in your ass
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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