So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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