We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
