About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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