who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
