worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize