Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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