Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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