I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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