dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
