woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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