I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize