nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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