what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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