it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
