Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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