Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
operation harelip BJ is a go
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
