I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
