I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
