Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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