I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
