It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
