dude i'm inner monologue high
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
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he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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