And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
