I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
