the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
well I can't set my house on fire every night
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
