you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize