I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
